When going through a separation or divorce it is not an easy process. Even if both parties agree that they want to proceed in this direction there are emotions and issues within their family dynamics that need to be addressed properly.
By choosing mediation, the process is easier as both parties are able to share and state what is important to them and why. All issues are on the table, there is nothing that cannot be stated in a mediation session. The parties are in charge of the process. When going through the litigation process it is a communication from you to your lawyer and your spouse to his/her own lawyer and the lawyers go back and forth while billable hours increase along with aggravation and frustration.
If you are lucky enough to get your case before a judge, even then the judge in most cases will only want to speak with your attorney. The judge will make a decision based upon what is presented by the attorneys, based on what he/she has read about your case and based on the law. Judges in family court actually encourage parties to try and work out an agreement on their own. Reason is that nobody knows the unique and personal situations better than the parties themselves. The judge, attorneys only have an idea, but never the entire picture.
In mediation, you are informed about the law and are able to make your decisions based on how it works for all the parties. The chances of having a WIN/WIN situation are increasingly greater during the mediation process.
While all cases do not fit the litigation process or even the mediation process, you owe it to yourself to be educated and know all your options so that you both can make an educated decision on what is best. This will eliminate the what if’s….or even better will result in a desired outcome rather than taking the risk of an ultimate result that is impossible for either one or both of you to live with now and in the shadow of the future.